I am borderline crying at how sassy this person is
ROLL BACK THE ATTITUDE
change the direction of the train if you concentrate
If you point in one of the two directions its easier!
In the Sims, you don’t say, “I love you.” You say, “Habadu bashubi,” which roughly translates to, “I cannot move because there is furniture in the way.” I think that’s absolutely beautiful.
some guy just knocked on my door and said “ben?” last time i checked i am not a ben
he just did it again and i had a moment of self doubt like
maybe i am ben
update: they found ben
i am not ben
im so fucking sick of listening to people chew food -__- it literally makes me want to go homicidal. youre a fucking human not a cow. not a fucking horse.
we all masturbate in the same language
and what language is this?
that was deep
so were my fingers last night
send me unpopular opinions and i can only reply with “agree” or “disagree”
you don’t know pain or agony until you’ve lost to the same boss fight more than 3 times
and then you have the unskippable cutscene dialogue memorized, so you start repeating it in a mocking, angry voice
FUCKIN CANDY BITCHES
So being an adult, I am occasionally struck by the realization that “Holy shit I can just like buy candy and have other grown-ups carry it to my motherfucking door” and then I usually send a random friend some milkduds or something.
But you know what’s fun? Giveaways.
So I’m doing one.
- I Don’t Care. Seriously, reblog all you like, like it, make love to it. Follow me, Don’t. Don’t care. Gonna random generate a number and that note number will be the winner.
- This is gonna go until Friday, May 3rd. At whenever I get online on that day.
- I will ship them to you from amazon or wherever. Shipping will be to the continental US only. I ain’t made of money. Just candy.
- You will get to pick the candy. It will be a huge fucking amount. like five pounds or some shit.
- If I don’t like your URL, you can still win but I will sigh when I pick you.
- If your askbox is closed or communicating with you is a pain in the ass then I’ma pick another winner.
- when the candy arrives I want you to take a picture of it or something. I am genuinely curious to see what a five pound bag of candy looks like
That is all I can think of. Get some candy.
If I don’t like your URL, you can still win but I will sigh when I pick you.
OP, you’re all right.
hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue
BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER
“IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!” MEN SHOUT
“NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!” WOMEN REPLY
well then at that point the man would be in charge of the decision. realistically if he didnt want a baby in the first place, he could just get an abortion, and also its a double standard. you cant tell one person they have to do something. OOOO! maybe instead, allow the woman to transfer the baby to a paid surrogate!
You sit at the restaurant with your young son, he says he is hungry. You agree to get him dinner. You open up to the kids menu, your child is far to young for adult food. Chicken nugger stares at you from the page. You don’t understand. Your palms get sweaty and your son complains. He says he is hungry. Your mind strains, searching for an answer in a world of sweer potato and french fried. You try to order the chicken nugger, but you cannot. The words cannot escape your lips. Your son is hungry, he complains. The waitress stares at you, her head a spinning chicken nugger, her arms swinging french fried. Your son cries the tears of a chicken nugger-less child. In your mind you scream. It is raining sweer potato now, you have french fried engraved on your left temple and you do not understand. Your son weeps in the corner, he is starving. Starving for the chicken nugger.
this is the most perfect thing in the world i have ever read
I can honestly say that this morning was a huge wake up call. To cherish every good person in my life. When I got the call that my cousin was in a bad accident and was going to the hospital, I literally felt like I lost everything.
I am so happy that she’s okay though. A couple of stitches and some bruises from her seatbelt. If she weren’t wearing her seatbelt I think we would have lost her. Thank God she is a cautious driver. I don’t know what I would have done if it was something worse.
why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying
- the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians
- ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague
- it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died
and fucking died
humpty dumpty committed suicide
jack fell down a hill and cracked his skull
A BABY FELL OUT A TREE